This was a myth that was told to little girls to keep them from displaying any negative feelings and shame them for not smiling enough. You’ll be cursed if you don’t stay in line. It was important in Hispanic culture for women to be submissive and gentle, this was just one of many ways to teach that.
Though bizarre and untrue, the internalization of this pressure to be content at all times enforces the belief that women can’t ask for things, that they can’t possibly deserve more than what they get, that they don’t have the right to express anger or sadness.
This is something I had internalized and I’ve often feared being cursed for showing negative feelings. I’d hide them until suppressing the feelings was no longer in my control.
As an act of rebellion, I dared myself to make the faces I was told to keep to myself and sketch out what I saw in the mirror, hide the sketch, and start again. Staying curious and asking myself to be honest and show the ugly truth even if I’d be cursed. I found that each iteration began to morph, slowly unraveling my feelings, embracing the ugly chaos. When put together, it painted a whole picture. Emotions bled into each other, overlapping in some areas. Bright “cheerful” colors were employed to distract from the melancholia that the facial expressions can’t hide. Repeated in all three of the pieces, yellow streaks expose cowardliness. Pink highlights involuntary blushing caused by anxiety, red indicating severe forms of it. Blue is the unshakeable feelings of hopelessness. This intentional juxtaposition completes a jarring almost disturbing picture.